Just one of those days (redux)

Finally made it to the cabin this past weekend. Debbie had Memorial Day off and we went up and met her dad there and spent Sunday evening and Monday working around the property and just being away. Despite some small missteps, we got a fair bit of work done, getting the railing on the loft roughed out and a lot of fallen trees cut for firewood, and we spent some good time together.

All of this with Bob in the hospital (he's now at home). What is it about the end of a life, especially one as beloved as Bob's, that is somehow settling instead of unsettling? Bob's passing, anticipated but not accomplished is not without struggle, especially for his grandson who enjoyed a remarkable relationship with Bob, the kind you hear about when people talk about the "old days." They had the kind of relationship I never had with my own grandfather and now Bob is passing away and even though I get the impression that he's ready, there are still shards and sharp edges remaining after he is gone.

So we went to the cabin and I let Caitlyn play with her grandfather, even though it probably kept us from getting some things done. I wanted to see this kind of relationship in her life. And so I went, and when I returned Bob had been moved to his house and his grandson was nowhere to be found, out riding his bicycle, trying to process it all.

Blest be the tie that binds, so we say, but I think sometimes that tie can bind us to an anchor if we're not taught how to honor and love our families without having their lives control our destinies. I'm not so much worried about Caitlyn, she's not really dependent on anyone's approval or permission so she'll probably do as well as can be expected in times of family crisis, but there are always people who have been raised in environments of such pressure and demand that they cannot stop seeking approval and when it is witheld (and what is a more potent witholding of approval than death?) they are unable to go on.

Bob's grandson is not in that place, he's just lost the grandfather that he loves. Now the challenge is for him to find a life that honors Bob but doesn't still cling to the times past.

How like the disciples we must become, having lost our center, we strive to find a life for ourselves that is "in remembrance" of our loved ones while still living in the pain of loss.

Comforter of our aches and pains, source of our future and maker of our hearts hear our cries as we bemoan our lot. Hear our wails of pain and remind us that as a parent's heart breaks with each sniffle of pain from their child, so the heart of God cries with us and yearns to gather us in and life from us the burden of mortality and loss. In Christ we have that burden lifted, if only partially. Remind us always of the coming days when our eyes will be dried and we will be reunited not only with the loved ones we have lost in this life, but also with you.

<<the picture was causing some people problems so I just dropped this link to it here >>

Assembly -2

The thing about budget deliberations is . . .

people's bases (as in plural of basis) for determination of what is right and equitable are vastly different. people's visions of when and how are vastly different. People's ability to envision a future are vastly different. our tendency as an outpost of grace in the world makes us look at things as if putting a little bit of money in a lot of pots will be as effective as putting a lot of money into a strategy.

we'll see how this works out

Assembly – 1

So I’m here. Paid an extra $10 for the tmobile hotspot, and I’m rolling . . .

Not as dull as some might expect. I think that there is a presumption that Assemblies are boring, procedure-laden events but the conversation has been lively, the issues (thus far) have been debated honestly and lovingly and there is a sense of unity that transcends whether you are holding up a red card or a green card in the voting.

I must, however, begin the recruitment process earlier the next time as potential delegates are still in the thrall of the belief that this is a pointless waste of time, instead of an opportunity to expereince the governance of the church and to exert some influence over that, and so over the future of the church.

Blessed revolutionary Lord, give us the strength to stand for what we believe in your name and to embrace those who speak against us. We are all struggling to express your love to the world, and it is so easy to lose sight of the most important thing that we have in common, the grace which has been showered upon us from the cross. Let us emerge from that shower united in your name, and refreshed for the road ahead. We are called to die, let us be willing to answer that call in all that we say and do in your Holy and precious name.

The 14th

Not only Mother's Day for the best mom in the world (Debbie), but also my 40th birthday. No head-banging or forgetfulness at church, pretty good sermon, no adult hour because the congregation surprised me with a birthday cake. It would have been even better had I not just started on the no-carb portion of my diet and so that and the family Mother's Day picnic were protein intensive, lots of chicken and burger. Then a member was out of town and she left me her symphony ticket for that day. Stravinsky's Rite of Spring  and Rachmaninoff: Symphony No. 2 both fabulous performances.

A good day all around.

On another note, I found out that the best man from our wedding has a myspace site that is quite funny, he's a comedian, after all.

Nice to have the good days, Lord. Things are too quiet when they're good all the time, so it's good to have the strength to hear your Word in our lives when heads fall onto altars and locks fail to open. Give us the good with the bad and the grace not to give a rip one way or the other.

Just one of those days

So Sunday went very well, on the whole. I suppose that thanks are due to the almighty for giving me a forgiving congregation with a good sense of humor, but I am immediately reminded of my wedding when the two pastors (our home pastor and Debbie's uncle) looked at each other and whispered "what comes next?"

Got to the point where there's a "stand or sit" moment and I couldn't remember which one, guessed (wrong) and then burst into laughter and dropped my head to the altar for  a second (pressed the 'reset' button) and proceeded. I liked the fact that there were smiles and even a "thumbs-up" from one member. We proceeded and everything went fine, but it should have been a warning.

 I was going to take Caitlyn to the family cabin in Mendocino county and so after a little shopping we hit the road, looking forward to a nice overnight with some good walks in the woods and a lot of good bonding. By the time we got to Boonville (45 minutes) I was thirsty and grumpy and we stopped for something to drink and a cube of butter for breakfast (I never remember everything). I dropped the butter into the cooler and closed the trunk, spotting my keys on the great big pad of drawing paper just as the trunk closed.

Of all the accessories the car could lack, why was the one thing left out of the menu an interior trunk release?

An hour and a half later (having woken Debbie up from her post-service nap) the trunk was open and the keys were retrieved and my very patient wife was treated to dinner, we drove up the windy road where I discovered that either I am not competent to open a lock of the same model as the ones we use at church or there is something wrong with this particular lock. I couldn't open the stupid thing and we were left with the dismal prospect of driving home.

Blessed Lord give us the patience we need when the things we decide are important do not turnout the way we might like and when the things that we bring before you in praise and worship are no better then we are, flawed and forgetful and honest and faithful. Each day we step out and give each other whatever we can, whatever we have and hope for the best. In you, there is only best and we thank you for giving us the gift of you.

Administrative stuff

How is it that things like Synod Assemblies end up sneaking up on you? I thought it unlikely that I would end up registering late for something like this but there it is. It is the kind of thing that I am certainly prone to overlook.

And I feel no shame about that. I spent three+ hours talking with someone facing some tough decisions being made affecting her life. If some other things slip through the cracks, which ones would I rather that they be? I am writing this proactively, there haven't been any comments about my lack of attention to administrative detail because I usually get things done, and I hope that I am not subconsciously laying the foundation for future lapses, but I was wondering how the rest of the universe handles it, the divisions that spearate us from our work, from our ministries and from our families.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I can't be 100% on all three of them

Lord of all that is, seen and unseen, done and undone. Grant this day that we might see the things of the Kingdom as our priorities, that we might see the least of these, your children, as our true priority and that we would treasure them more than rubies and in doing so, be reminded of our own places in the world you would have us inhabit.