oddly unsatisfying

I am somwhat ashamed of this feeling but it’s an odd feeling to be ready to provide pastoral support and to find no desire for it.

I got a call from the hospital about 10 minutes before I was going to go home and get ready to go to the ranch. There had been a baby who died, was born dead and the family had asked for clergy to come and bless the baby, not baptize, just bless.

Cool, I did my CPE at Abbott Northwestern Hospital and a fair bit of my on-call responses were to Children’s right next door. I rushed home and changed (I was already changed for going to the cabin) and drove out to the Hospital.

I arrived and the people were very sweet. They already had two children but when she had arrived, she thought she was going into premature labor. There was no heartbeat, and the induction brought out the poor little boy. They were very calm. They asked that a blessing be said for the baby and I reached back to the naming ceremony from Children’s Hospital and spoke the words, their comfort obvious and the sentiment true. I have no idea whether or not my words reached them, but they seemed to reach me and I teared up.

Then they said thanks and told me that this was all that they wanted and said I could go.

I  was a little taken aback. It was an indictment of entering into someone else’s space with expectations of your own and then feeling put out when your own expectations aren’t fulfilled. It’s also an indictment of the very human need to see some kind of result from your efforts. I wanted to see some kind of Spirit activity.

Back to prayer . . .

Precious Lord,  empty my heart of myself so that there is room for others and so that my own concerns do not cloud my caring for them. Fill my eyes with their faces because in their faces there is you, and it is to you that I must always return, indeed it is to you that we all must return. Allow your Word to fall from my lips unhindered and remind me that this living word carries its own power and doesn’t need my help. When I misstep, call me back and when I return send me out so that I can be our face in the world even as I see your face in those to whom I minister.

Where should the choir sit?

I can’t believe that this is an issue (not really a Bosnia issue, more like a bad barrista issue). The different churches that I have been in have all done it differently with various levels of success (In my opinion).

I’ll present them all arranged according to geography, church geography, not american geography. Front to back they are:

1. Choir sitting in a choir loft in front of the Organ, robed and separated from the congregation by both height and a substantial rail
   1. choir also entered the loft from a “secret” door in the loft, having come through the fellowship space beneath the sanctuary
   2. Choir had to compete with the pipes of the organ which were in the following configuration:
      1. Organ
      2. Choir
      3. Congregation
      4. Congregation
      5. Congregation
      6. Congregation
   3. The choir sat and sung for the most part at a 90 degree angle from the congregation, essentially singing to the pulpit
   4. Choir remained in the loft for the duration of the service
2. Choir processing to a choir loft in front of the congregation, separated by a low rise, robed
   1. choir processed every week despite the notations in the Manual on Liturgy (which normally occupied a place right next to the Bible)
   2. Choir remained in the loft for the duration of the service
3. Choir, unrobed, sits in the pews until the anthem is sung, they gather in front of the congregation and sing their song, then sit again with their families
4. Choir sits, robed, in a choir loft at the rear of the church separated only by the piano which accompanies them
   1. Choir remained in the loft for the duration of the service

I think that about does it.

I’d like to hear from choir members and congregation members alike to see what you think (or if you think) about this.
I like people to worship with their families probably because it is the one thing denied me in this calling. What do you think?

from a friend (Communion cont’d)

A friend of mine whose blog is to remain private (at her request) posted this in April . . .

(it is interesting to note that this company was vanished from the web, the unit is described below, but apparently we cannot see a picture any more, the site exists only at archive.com) <<note>> Lauren found the cups under another name here in her reply below<<note>>

we get the wierdest stuff in the mail. check this one out; we got a sample package this week.

evidently, when time and hygiene are of the essence, it is better to used prepackaged communion. this particular product is called “the celebration cup.” its brochure tells me that it “contains the same simple elements that have been served for centuries, a wafer of unleavened bread and a small cup of juice. but, while the elements are traditional, the packaging is revolutionary. using patented technology, the celebration cup is uniquely designed to hold bread and juice together in a single, recyclable plastic cup. each individual serving is pre-packed, purity-sealed, and virtually germ-free. each serving is prepared in a hygienic facility that adheres to strict fda standards.”

why do this? they tell me that communion “is a practice too profound to alter, too precious to change. yet, while the practice must remain the same, the process has room for improvement. for many churches, preparing the elements, passing the trays, and cleaning up is very time consuming.”

what’s the desired result? “worship without worry. and a new found freedom in sharing the most meaningful sacrament of all.”

anyone else smell a maundy thursday sermon?

i really do understand the dilemma of trying to distribute communion to a huge number of people (i’ve been to a national elca youth gathering!); i’m sure it’s nearly impossible for some of those megachurches to do it. and the more people you have, the bigger chaos, the bigger mess to clean up, etc. and i can see how it would be convenient to take them to camp, up on a mountain, or to the hospital. plus, they do take visa, mastercard, and discover.

however, here are my top ten reasons NOT to use the celebration cup:

1) these are intended to be passed out in trays into the pews so no one ever has to move. maybe it’s just me, but peeling back your own air-tight seal doesn’t have the same impact as being given the body and blood of christ by someone else.

2) i don’t think jesus really cared about fda standards.

3) anything that comes in pink and purple packaging doesn’t strike me as “reverent,” no matter what this company says.

4) i’m not sure worry-free worship is really our goal.

5) shipping and handling is $5.95, plus 7% for each additional box.

6) the emphasis on purity and hygiene is a little bit much for me, especially in our current climate of fear, fear, and more fear.

7) currently, they only produce celebration cups with grape juice.

i’d never get to use my cool communion set they gave me at messiah.

9)

10)

okay, those are only eight reasons, but i think they’re good ones. anyone have reasons 9 and 10?

I’m NOT yanking the rug out from under

I think I should clear this up.

it appears that whenever I bring something up, people might assume I’m going to change something in some kind of drastic way. Let me state clearly:

This is a forum for discussion, not a decisions-making body and not a place where I’m announcing change

I want to hear what you think, not how hard you’ll fight to defend your territory. I want to know what you love about something, not how well it works in Fresno cuz let me tell you, this ain’t Fresno. I’d love for you to disagree with me but not to fear what I’m gonna do. Even when we changed the worship service there were five meetings where the possibilities for worship were discussed and what changes happened were the direct result of those meetings. I am not in a mood to yank the rug out from under anyone, I just want this to be a forum for ideas

because I’m gonna get on your nerves a lot more if I don’t know what you think and I just blunder from issue to issue

This is not to say that I’ll stop advocating for my position, that’s pretty much why we define positions, so we can convince other people of them. I went to the seminary because I wanted my opinions about the church and its business to have some sort of foundation in theology, specifically lutheran theology. Out of that come a lot of my opinions, and I’m convinced of them. But theology seldom builds a church, most of the time it’s people, diverse, strong, weak, simple, complicated stubborn people like you and me. I’d like us to try and find a space where we can disagree openly, completely and still come away the children of God, joined at the savior, so to speak without the whole thing descending into rancor.

try and convince me, and I’ll try and convince you, but I promise that I’ll not just yank away something essential for your worship because I think I’m right. You may also expect me to call you on it if I find you doing the same thing, though.

just food for thought

Holy Lord, each time we are confronted by something we find rightening or unpleasant we have a choice. We can tread the path of fear or the path of grace. One way will keep us safe and comfortable because we will circle around the things we hold dear to protect them. Remind us that when we are gathered around our precious things, we are in effect hiding them from the world so that nobody else can find them precious. The other path is also fraught with peril because we must walk this path blindfolded, arms open, our hearts exposed. As in all things, remind us that no person can drive another down the path, but we must choose the paths we will walk and respect the paths of others because if we don’t, we cannot expect their love or respect in return. As the Buddha reminds us, let us seek the middle path and find peace,

Communion, how do YOU do it?

I’m (finally) realizing what n exercise in vanity this thing is. There are a fair nmber of people who read it all the time, but I get a fair number of responses via e-mail instead of inside the forum. The people who do this are undoubtedly feeling a little put-upon that I’m advertising this, but since I won’t use their names, and they don’t post, they have nothing to fear.  The fact of the matter is that I don’t think I would want to keep doing this just to hear from (no offense, I love you guys) my colleagues and two members of the church.

I suppose it’s unfair to expect people to adopt this technology with the same joy I have, but it makes me wonder if I’m having any success in trying to help the community trust each other enough to disagree out in the open.

Just depressed, I guess. Maybe it’s part of the whole “professional” hierachy we have bult up in this country. We’ve ceded the discourse on most topics to the “experts” and dropped quietly into the background as if without a master’s degree we don’t have anything to say. We start conversations with stupid phrases like “well, I’m no economist, but” as if you had to be a specialist to realize that free trade is great in abstract but crappy when it costs you your job. Somehow we’ve actually become ashamed to have these opinions unless we have the book smarts to back them up.

I’ve got some people in Bible study who do not have this problem. They say what they think pretty much all of the time and even if they’re open to having their minds changed or their thoughts expanded or shrunk just a little) they’re fearless when they speak about their faith. Why not about worship? or Communion? or Mission? Why the behind the scenes communication?

I don’t get it, but that’s hardly a unique stiuation. As for the title of the post, how do YOU do communion, either in your church or in your heart when you approach the rail?  We alternate between full communion (in the little plastic Jesus cups) and intinction. I’d like to go to common cup being on offer, but that’s an additional assistant and another learning curve and it’ll have to wait for another day. I read in the Lutheran this month a quip from a woman who mourns the loss of monthly communion (she still takes communion only once a month) because she thinks that it makes the sacrament less special. I try (who knows how successfully?) to communicate the universal nature of the Lord’s table, that it is food for all mankind, for the hungry for grace and also the hungry in body, that it might give us a tase of God’s grace that we might feed those in need. How can that be done too often (no matter what Skip Sundberg says)?

I don’t even know where to start, feeling down and wanting to vent, make of it what you will.

Bread of life from heaven. Feed us this day that we may be strong enough in body and in spirit to feed those less fortunate. Show us the way of grace so that we can see in ourselves, the desperate hunger of spirit that might show us the hunger in the flesh of those around us. May we always see our hunger in theirs and seek to share what we have so that both hungers might be eased, until the day when there will be no hunger and no thirst.

Single or multiple services

Well, because I didn’t know any better, I copied the theme from last year of reducing to one service over the summer. In Alaska it is just the way things are, attendance goes down when people can make it to their cabins etc. and so it has been prudent to reduce the number of services.

Well, as soon as I change the ad in the upcoming yellow pages to reflect the summer schedule change, people began calling the decision into question, for some the “combined” service time was too early, for some too late since I decided to split the difference and have it in the former education hour between services. Others didn;t like the fact that they might have to learn a new service order (I settled on Haugen’s “Tree of Life” btw, a wonderful, singable (if somewhat long) service with room to play, this as decided after a month of meetings exploring the possibilities of using the four-fold pattern as the framework and then playing within that paradigm to create a service that was authentic to the community).

Ah, the pitfalls of ghetto-izing the community. The “contempo” people (they used to have a folk band but the “glue” people moved so now it’s just alternative liturgical) didn’t want to go back to “green book” worship, which will soon morph into burgundy book worship (we’re not buying it, I think), with “all of that organ” and the early “traditional service” people didn’t want to be stuck singing all of those songs they didn’t know. Fear upon fear were reported to me, mostly right to my face, which was a joy because I didn;t have to guess what people were thinking. Economics won out since I’d already placed the Yellow Pages ad and couldn’t change it and on with one service we went.

And people love it! (i’m not naive, I know everybody doesn’t, but everybody who came up to me has said so and unless I know differently, I’m sticking with this impression) Attendance has not been good it’s been fantastic! we had as many people in one service this past week as we had in both services during some weeks during the rest of the year and everybody loves seeing the church full of people, they love the fact that we ran out of bulletins, that the service takes longer so we can commune the whole crowd.

And they all get together in the same room, and everybody gets along and (so far) no rancor. Damn, I think Paul Westermeyer may have been right, it is better for a church to worship, sing and commune together.

Now we have to get some help with the liturgy, I’d like to see guest liturgists, helping me lead the services. I love doing it but I think it would be better if the congregation owned that part of the worship as well.

What lovely predicament, whether or not to keep the combined service (which works) or return to the split services (which worked).

Serene lamb of God, show us the value of meekness and the beauty in community. As the flock of your fold keep us together and whole in the love of the community that flows from your love for the community. All of what we do should serve you and with your guidance and grace it just might someday reflect your glory into this fragile but beautiful world for a brief instant, in which our hearts will see ouselves at the feast which you have prepared for us and peace will reign.